Day 26 – TGIF?

Woke up feeling awful again and still the constant nausea. I’m starting to get worried as I haven’t eaten since Wednesday afternoon and it’s now Friday evening. The nausea lasted all day while I tried to relax around the house. I threw up again in the evening before going to sleep.

[Entered on 15/11/05]

Day 25 – Things could get worse

I got up feeling awful. The nausea just didn’t stop and I actually threw up, repeatedly, before lunch. I tried to get some food down before going to the clinic. Luckily today they just had to remove the pump.

I asked to see the doctor as I was feeling absolutely awful and having great, great difficulty swallowing. Desney and I saw Dr. Kanoui for a while and talked a lot. He was a lot more open during this meeting than in most of the previous consultations. He prescribed a series of medicine for my throat and hoped I would feel better by the weekend when the chemicals should work their way out of my body.

Went home, ate a quick dinner and passed out feeling awful.

[Entered on 15/11/05]

Day 24 – Had a Bad Day

I had a bad day…

Woke up with the shivers and went in to the clinic. They started treatment and it didn’t go well. This time I had the shivers before they even started and they just got worse. They treated me with extra anti-nausea medication and some cortisone. They called in Dr. Kanoui to check up on me and because of all of the extra care I didn’t get out of there until late in the evening. Came home absolutely exhausted and passed out on the couch. No dinner…

Music today was brought to me by Kenny Burrell, Claude Bolling / Jean-Pierre Rampal, Roy Hargrove and some Robin Williams comedy.

I didn’t turn on my computer again at all today…

[Entered on 15/11/05]

Day 23 – Chemo D2

The day didn’t start well and basically went downhill from there.

Painful nausea and throat right from the morning. I was able to get through breakfast and my shower just in time to get back to the clinic for chemotherapy day 2.

Luckly I had my iPod to keep me thinking of something else during the treatments. Today was The Modern Jazz Quartet and then Joe Pass and then James Carter. I didn’t feel great when I went and I felt even worse when I came home.

Then the shivers started in the evening. Not quite convulsions but non-stop shivers that I just couldn’t control.

I didn’t turn my computer on at all today. It was a long day and a long night…

[Entered on 15/11/05]

Day 22 – Back in Chemo

The day I’ve been dreading for 2 weeks.

No problems in the morning. It took me a good hour to get down breakfast and all of the pre-medication I have to take (anti-nausea, relaxants, corticoids, laxative, potassium, …).

I got to the clinic on time and met with a new doctor. He checked out my blood test results and approved my continuing chemo. I explained to him that I wasn’t able to swallow the large potassium tablets and he prescribed a potassium liquid instead. He asked how the last chemo week had gone and we (Desney was with me) told him. He was apparently not too worried about the constant nausea and pleased there wasn’t too much vomiting. Easy for him…. He’s on the other side!

The x-ray treatments went by quickly and then back to chemo. They were completely booked up and didn’t have any more chairs in the chemo room. I therefore got a private room with a bed and my own toilet. What a luxury! Even with the Emla Patch I had put on injecting the catheter hurt this time. But once the fluid started pumping I just kicked back and listened to my music. Three and a half hours later they removed the last perf bag and replaced it with my pump and I left. Desney came to pick me up and we took a taxi home.

At home I just sat around most of the evening. It felt good to be able to eat so I had soup and pasta to try and fatten myself up as much as possible before the days when I can’t eat arrive.

All in all not too bad a start…

Day 21 – The calm before the storm

My last day before chemo starts again. It was also a day with no treatment or tests or anyone else doing things to my body without my control.

I spent most of the day trying to work on and finish things I knew I would not be able to do next week. I did a lot of e-mail work and some preparation work for my assistant in London and a lot of accounting and bookkeeping. Desney spent a good portion of the day cooking and making meals for the rest of the week in preparation. She accepts that a good portion of her week will be spent taking care of me and she’s preparing so that the family has good food to eat throughout. The kitchen smelled wonderful all day.

Alexandra had a friend over in the afternoon and Jessica had a friend come over for dinner and sleepover. Dinner was fun with everyone enjoying a nice bottle of Côte de Charmes’ Morgon ’99 which looked and smelled delicious.

Everyone went to bed at their normal times as they all have school and work tomorrow. I stayed up as late as I could as I knew that when I went to sleep and woke up it would be chemo day again.

Tomorrow starts my second week, out of three (hopefully), of chemotherapy. I am now both scared and sad. Scared because I now know much better what it’s going to be like and am aware that, with the cumulated effect of 3 weeks of radiation, it’s going to be worse. Sad because I know I have to go through with it. I have three wonderful reasons to go through all of this and I see them every day and every night at home to remind me that it’s all worth it in the end…

Day 20 – Passed my test

I had set my alarm and woke up early (7:00), jumped in the shower and then paced around for awhile. I couldn’t eat. At 7:45 I went to the lab for my pre-chemo blood test. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. He was pretty gentle. I explained I needed the results today and went home. At home I had a slow breakfast and lied around for most of the morning. At 13:30 I went to pick up my results.

I passed with flying colours. Absolutely every test was at normal levels. My kidneys are fine, my liver’s fine, my white blood cells are fine, my antibodies are fine and I still don’t have AIDS. This is all really good news as it means I shouldn’t have to have any supplementary treatment in addition to the chemo. I’ve seen others in the chemo room who have to get injections every day or worse (blood transfusions). I was very pleased with myself as it shows that my body is fighting off the chemotherapy correctly.

I spent the afternoon doing some accounting and correspondence and things I knew I would not be capable of doing next week. Desney spent most of the day shopping and then the late afternoon in the back garden working on the lawn. Once upon a time I did most of the lawn maintenance. But everything’s out of my hands at the moment…

Desney prepared a Choucroute. It was delicious. I seem to be able to handle salty foods much more so than sweet or spicy. Add a bit of Dijon mustard and this was great. I was able to get down half of an Alsatian beer while I watched the rest of the family finish off a wonderful bottle of André Ehrhart’s Gewurztraminer.

I finished my book: the first in the "In Death" series (Naked in Death) by J.D. Robb. Now I can get started on the second one (Glory in Death).

Day 19

Early day today as my treatment appointment was early. I was able to get through the morning fine and had an early lunch. I actually had another Greek sandwich with chips. But without harissa sauce this time. I was able to eat all of it and actually felt good with a bit of a greasy junk food rush. I drove to the clinic for my treatment and afterwards I got my schedule for the week after next’s treatments. I’ll be starting the following Tuesday which is really good news for me. That means that I’ll have four days, after the end of chemo, with no treatment. Next week I have chemo (and radiation) from Monday through Thursday and then nothing from Friday through Monday and then radiation only from Tuesday through Friday.

I slept most of the afternoon as usual. In the evening Desney had to work late as she has a looming publication deadline. The girls and I ordered pizza (Pizza Hut) and I sent Jessica out to rent an action movie. She came home with The Transporter which unintentionally laughably filled the bill. A lot of fun.

Day 18 - Uneventful

Not much to say about today as I didn't do much.

Spent the morning getting ready and doing a bit of professional e-mail. Had a quick lunch and went to the clinic for my x-ray treatment.

I tried driving to the clinic today. It was wonderful. It was a great feeling to be in control. I wasn't waiting for the bus wondering if it would be on time. I wasn't wandering around wondering what to do when I invariably turn up early and there's nothing in the neighbourhood. I was in control. It was great to drive and be in my own little world listening to my tunes on the stereo. In and out for my treatment in about 20 minutes and back on the road again for home.

When I got home I went to the chemists and got the rest of my medication. I then fell asleep for most of the afternoon.

I tried the new numbing stuff at dinner time. The phosphalugel went down reasonably well. I only retched twice. The xylocaine however, as it's much thicker, had much more difficulty going down and Desney handed me a bucket and asked I did that in the bathroom just in case. The xylocaine numbed my mouth and the top of my throat but just didn't hit the swallowing mechanism which still hurt. I'm not sure I'll try again and I'm certain I will not be able to use either of these products during chemo week when it is almost certain I would throw it all up.

Starting to count the days to the start of chemo again...

Day 17 – Back to the Doctor

Today was a bit tough… the pain swallowing and yawning has become constant and, well, painful.

Jessica went off to do some book shopping as she needed to (finally) get some required books for school that she should have gotten at the beginning of the holidays rather than the end of the holidays. Alexandra went off to La Défense to meet with Desney and do some lunchtime shopping.

I was therefore home alone. I was able to eat a light lunch (soup and rice) and headed off to the clinic for today’s treatment. The treatment was easy as always and they were running a half hour late. I asked to see a doctor and eventually was ushered in to see Dr. Kanoui. He was actually much kinder this time and apparently had more time. He examined my throat and prescribed a whole bunch of medication which should help me eat (local anaesthesia for my throat, corticoids, potassium supplements, …). As soon as I got off the bus home I went to the chemists to get my medication. They had everything in stock except for the most important (xylocaine – the internal anaesthesia gel) so I have to wait until tomorrow morning for that.

I went home and to sleep for a couple of hours on the couch. I had difficulty eating dinner but I did get down some solids. I spent the rest of the night wincing every time I swallowed.

If you were to ever think about it and count how many times you swallow in an hour you can then imagine how tiring it would be if every single one of those swallows felt like sandpaper in the middle of your throat and someone slicing at you from the inside…

Day 16 – All Saint’s Day

Today’s a holiday here in France so the family is still home and I don’t have any treatment.

Awoke a bit late and spent my time getting ready as usual. Desney spent almost the entire day out in the garden refencing a portion of the flower/plant garden in the back. I spent almost the entire day on the couch either relaxing and watching TV or asleep.

The constant swallowing pain in my throat is getting worse and worse. I was able to eat, albeit painfully, all 3 meals. But I am truly hoping the doctor is going to be able to give me some sort of local painkiller tomorrow.

Day 15 – Halloween II

Woke up a bit late (08:30) with the realisation that today is both Halloween and the second anniversary of our house. It was two years ago today that we spent our first night in our first house. Desney is still overwhelmed and upset about the amount of work that still needs doing on the house. The house will always need work, maintenance and mending. But we are now “only” 13 years away from owning it.

Desney had bought pumpkins from the market and she and Alexandra made jack-o-lanterns. I was still getting ready (showever and whatever) so I did my pumpkin after they were done. They were ready to be proudly displayed on top of the entrance columns in the front garden as soon as night fell. With the time change night came earlier than usual. Desney lit the candles in the pumpkins and put them out and prepared a bowl full of sweets by the front door ready for the trick or treaters.

Throughout the day it was getting more and more painful for me to swallow. Desney made me an early dinner as my x-ray treatment was at 19:50. It took me a while to get dinner down and it hurt. I went for my treatment and they were only about 15 minutes late. With the increasing and constant pain in my throat I was going to ask to see a doctor but it was too late. With tomorrow being a holiday everyone had gone home by 20:00. I made my way home.

Alexandra was still awake desperately awaking the arrival of trick or treaters. She went to bed late (22:00) but this year not one trick or treater came. All the more sweets left for the girls.

I finally went to sleep. But the pain swallowing made it difficult to get to sleep. After my operations cold, ice water, ice cream and such relieved, at least temporarily, the pain in my throat. Unfortunately this is no longer the case and nothing seems to work. I tried a pain killer before bed (Efferalgan) but to no great effect.

Day 14 – The day time moved back

A relatively uneventful day… like I like ‘em!

The biggest event of the day was, of course, that we got to turn all the clocks back and hour thereby providing the entire family with a much needed extra hour of sleep. The girls didn’t wake up until quite late with or without the time change.

I basically didn’t do much and slept a good portion of the afternoon. A bit of television (too much) and a bit of reading (not enough) and a bit of e-mails on the computer and the day flew by.

E.R. in the evening as usual for a Sunday night and then I got sucked in by one of the classic American reality shows: Renovate My Family. It all looked heart-wrenchingly wonderful as they completely destroyed and rebuilt this family’s house and helped them cope with their older child who has been in a wheelchair for two years now and dad who has a serious smoking problem. The result looked great on TV and everyone was tear-jerkingly overjoyed. I wouldn’t have been any the wiser if I hadn’t gone looking for a link for Renovate My Family to add to the blog. What do I find out? It was a nightmare experience so awful that they, like any unhappy American, sued them!. In this particular case, if what I read is anywhere near the truth, it looks like they were right in doing so.

I went to be late and had difficulty sleeping…

Day 13 - And now we are four again

Desney got up at 5:30 in the morning to take the Eurostar to go fetch Alex and I slept in. I didn’t get up until about 08:30 and slowly got ready.

My throat is hurting more and more and it hurts to swallow. Yawning hurts particularly. But it’s bearable and I can eat.

Jessica got home about noon looking as pale as a sheet. She apparently averaged about 3 to 4 hours sleep per night while she was away which is generally a sign she had a very good time. She’ll be spending the next 4 days catching up on her sleep before going back to school on Thursday.

The two of us went out for a quick Japanese lunch and then I went shopping at the market for more mushy food and such. Lunch was good, especially as we both love sushi, and the Japanese green tea went down quite well. Jessica spent the entire meal telling me all about her trip and it sounds like it was wonderful.

Desney was able to get an earlier train back and she and Alexandra arrived at about 16:30. Alexandra spoke English for the rest of the evening which is exactly what we wanted to hear. It sounds like she had a great and very adventurous time at Camp Beaumont with absailing and climbing and jumping from ropes to ropes and ploughing through the mud…

It’s great to have the family back together again…

Finished the evening watching the Breeder's Cup Turf race... live from Belmont Park in New York... our horse came in fourth which was a sad and painful end to the day... it was a great race to watch though...

Day 12

A relatively easy day.

As usual it took me a while to get ready in the morning. But it wasn’t as bad as usual this morning and I was actually dressed by 11:00.

I went through e-mails for a while and at about 12:30 I went out and got myself some lunch. Remembering how well the steak went down last night, with a bit of salt added to get the old salivary glands working, I thought I’d try a “sandwich grec” (Greek sandwich) sometimes referred to as a “sandwich turc” (Turkish sandwich) and known as a Doner Kebab in Britain. These are generally really salty and served with chips (fries for the Americans in the audience) in the sandwich. Here in France, and especially in my neighbourhood, we add harissa sauce. The sandwich was actually delicious and the salt helped a lot. However at one point in the sandwich I hit a lump of harissa and thought I was going to die. The burning sensation down my throat could not be helped by water. I drank half a litre. It wasn’t the normal burning sensation as when one eats something spicy. It was a burning sensation as though I had literally eaten something that was boiling. Sweat was running down my face from the spice and tears were running down my cheeks from the pain. I had never realised how one sandwich could be such an intense experience. I opened the sandwich and ate the rest of the insides with a fork so as to avoid the sauce on the bread.

I’m learning…

Back to the clinic for my treatment. They were late as always but I had my book to read, on my Palm, so I was fine. After treatment I got them to book my x-ray treatments for the chemo week fitting the treatment just before the start of chemo each day. I went home with an ever increasing feeling of dread as chemo is now a week closer.

Back home I put myself to bed and didn’t get up again until Desney got home after 18:00. She made a dinner of salmon and some pasta with courgettes and it all went down well.

I realise I spend most of this blog talking about what I eat. However not only is food one of the great pleasures, and most important aspects, of my life. But I also use this blog to go back in time and see what I was capable of days/weeks earlier and what the cause and effect was on my body. I apologise if the medical and gastronomical aspects get boring. But I selfishly use this blog for myself more than anyone else. You’re all invited spectators not targeted readers. It’s an interesting, and more than slightly narcisstic, concept.

After dinner I started to realise just how much my throat is starting to hurt. The dry mouth is constant and there is slight pain every time I swallow. At the moment it's not even at the level it was at after my last surgery so it is more than bearable and I can eat solids without difficulty. However when I yawn I get a sneak preview of what the pain is going to be like as, luckily for a very short moment, it definitely hurts. I can only imagine that all of this is going to get worse during the next week.

Because I had slept so much in the afternoon I didn’t get to sleep until very late. I hope I didn’t wake Desney…

Day 11

Days go by…

I still have a lot of trouble getting moving in the morning. As everyone knows I have never really been a morning person. But I have always been able to cope and perform. It’s actually getting frustrating how long it takes me before I’m finished with the morning routine (breakfast, toilet, shower, shave, teeth, throat and dressed).

One minor occurrence: the tube going from the tap to the shower head bust while I was having a shower. Luckily this didn’t happen during one of the three showers I take with the pump attached to me as water went absolutely everywhere.

At the end of the morning, beginning of the afternoon, I had my shower, ate my lunch (loving pre-prepared by Desney) and headed back to the clinic. In and out and back home. It takes me much longer to get to the clinic than the time I spend there when I only have x-ray therapy. This is fine by me as I get depressed just walking down the street to the clinic let alone sitting in the waiting rooms which are 90% filled with people like me… none of whom are happy. Would you be?

I got home from the clinic, went to the hardware store and got a new tube for the shower and went to the barber and got my haircut. There’s still this thought in the back of my head: “Why am I paying somebody 12 € to cut my hair when it’s probably all going to fall out in the next couple of weeks?” But it was starting to get difficult to wash so I guess it was worth it.

Finally got home and slept until dinner. Desney made a lovely steak for dinner which I was able to eat. Everything tastes bland to me. I think that is basically due to the lack of saliva.

My current situation as regards the evolution of all of this is that my mouth and throat get drier every day. It doesn’t actually hurt (yet) except when I yawn. But everything is very dry. When I drink water my mouth and throat feel lubricated again but it only lasts seconds. The solution would be to somehow attach a pump that shoves water in my mouth every 30 seconds throughout the day. But just the calculation of how much time I’d spend running back and forth to the toilet negates this option.

So far so good… Moving forward… Counting the days… Still fearing the next week of chemo (in 10 more days).

Day 10

A day off! No treatment today... just an excuse to lie around the house...

As always it took me forever to get going in the morning. However food went well throughout the day. I'm still tired most of the time, and there's a level of nausea that's always there and annoying, but it's all bearable. No real pain (yet).

I was able to catch up with some e-mails and such and get involved. I also checked out the blog of a friend of ours who moved back to America. He had read a disappointing wine book so I added a comment to his blog with a recommendation for a different book... hopefully he'll read the comment... I've now started checking out his blog to see what he adds regularly. I have to admit I'm finding this concept more and more intriguing.

Not much to say about my activities as apart from keeping myself clean and hydrated (at least 2 litres of water a day) I spend the rest of the time going to the toilet as a direct cause and effect reaction to the hydration point or sleeping/napping. Not really exciting or even interesting.

It was a beautiful day out today and many degrees hotter than normal for this season. Temperature records are being broken daily all around Europe and probably the world. Could this, in some way, be due to Global Warming? Nah... Of course not [tongue planted firmly in cheek].

When I go outside I have to do the opposite of what the song suggests. I try and leave my worries on my doorstep but I have to keep away from the sunny side of the street. I have to keep my neck scars/wounds away from the sun for a year (until September 2006). In addition the chemo is having slight affects on my skin which has gone from its rather attractive Italian olive tints to a much greener look of nausea... or maybe that's just the way I see myself in the mirror. If (When) my hair falls out I'll not only have to keep my neck out of the sun but my entire head. One of the simple pleasures of owning a house however is that I can sit outside, on the front bench, in our little front garden in the shade. I'm outside, out of the sun, and still in my house and on my property. Luckily I haven't installed an outdoor webcam/netcam (yet) or you'd see me sitting on the bench, reading a book, in my dressing gown.

As I spend so much time lying around I also get to spend much too much time watching television. As everyone knows good television exists. But as everyone knows it only accounts for less than 1% of all television programming. I therefore watch a lot of rubbish. It's rare that something is so ridiculous it makes me laugh as often I just change the channel. You will never find me sitting in front of The Jerry Springer Show for more than a nanosecond. However I was flicking through the hundreds of channels, thanks to cable, and stopped on one of those stupid American sensationalist "we'll prove that you'll do anything for money" shows called Fear Factor. In this show they basically put you through "events" which scare the life out of you and the winner "earns" US$50,000. They started with 6 candidates and they had to do things like being dropped, on a bungee rope, from hundreds of feet whereby they crashed through a wall and had to drop a sort of flag on a target. No problem for all of them to do that but one candidate gets eliminated. 5 candidates left. Now they put them each in a car which they drop in the river. Underwater they have to unstrap themselves, swim to the back seat and unstrap a baby doll, swim back to the front seat, roll down the window and swim out the front window to safety. No problem for all of them do that but one candidate gets eliminated. 4 candidates left (2 guys and 2 gals). This is where I both burst out laughing and eventually changed the channel. They bring them in to a restaurant (more like a diner actually) for their next challenge. The host brings out a plate and explains the challenge. Each contestant is going to have to eat two buffalo's testicles. They're cooked and the contestant can not hold their nose or spit any out. They're served without any sauce from what I can see so I can understand this being less than appetizing. However this is one of the regular winter dishes of the south of France (albeit bull's balls instead of buffalo's balls) which we've eaten for centuries. These people agree to be dropped hundreds of feet in free flight and to be dropped underwater locked inside of a car but TWO OUT OF FOUR (both gals) refuse to take the challenge of eating two buffalo's testicles and are eliminated from the competition! Ah the Americans... such gastronomic experts [rof,l].

I turned off the television and went back to my book and much greater enjoyment and entertainment...

Day 9

It's like a roller coaster ride... every day has its ups and downs.

Today started very, very slowly. Still feeling a bit nauseous all the time which is a pain but bearable. It tok me forever to eat in the morning and even longer to get my act together and get in to gear. I did a bit of e-mails in the morning which felt productive and finally raced through my shower, as much as I can race through anything at the moment, and ate my lunch quickly before heading back to the clinic.

Desney had prepared me lunch and left it in the fridge for me so I didn't have to do anything. Yet another brief flash of "What would I do without her?" as I tucked in. A very nice salad and some smoked salmon with some good bread. What more can a guy ask for?

Back on the bus to the clinic, in and out, and back on the bus home. I finally finished my book (J.D. Robb's Survivor in Death) which I was reading in the old-fashioned paperback version. I actually quite liked the book, which is the latest installment in the "In Death" series, so I ordered the first 3 of the series from Amazon. When I'm in chemo and worried about batteries and such it's good to have something to read on paper that does not say "batteries not included". As I finished the book, and I was bored, I started the next book on my Palm (Sims by F. Paul Wilson) which has turned out to be quite fun.

I got home exhausted as usual. However this time I listened to my body and put myself to bed. Emma was cleaning today so I actually crawled in to our bed in our bedroom. That was about 15:30... I didn't wake up until just before Desney got home at about 18:15. Dead to the world...

Spent most of the night still feeling tired and more nauseous than usual. I was able to eat dinner, at least most of it, but not as much as I wanted to. As Desney says my eyes are too big for my stomach when it comes to second helpings at the moment. She did a lovely veal with wild mushrooms and cream sauce on rice and peas. Delicious... from what I could tell...

Did a bit of computer stuff in the evening and passed out late as usual...

Day 8

If only every treatment day were like today...

The nausea is still at a bearable level and I am able to eat normally. It takes me hours to get ready in the morning but no one's waiting for me...

I grabbed a sandwich from the bakery, which I was able to eat, on my way to the clinic. A quick half-hour later and I was back on my way home after the x-ray treatment. I stopped off at a café, at Porte de Champerret, and had a cup of coffee like a normal person. It tasted a bit funny, as just about everything does these days, but certainly enjoyable and appreciated.

I got home with a bit of energy so I worked for bit in front of my computer. I should have taken a nap. It was a great feeling to get some work done, catch up with e-mails, feel a bit productive, put out some fires and help move things along. But I should have taken a nap when I had gotten home.

I never see time fly, zoom and blur by at light speed when I'm working in front of a computer. How many times have I gotten up from my chair only to suddenly realise it's been hours since I've gone to the toilet? I feel glad and lucky that I can still use computers and that they still provide me with such pleasure.

Desney got home and I suddenly realised what time it was. I got up from my desk and could have passed out then and there. I went upstairs and lied down for a bit and she prepared dinner.

It was great to sit down at table, just the two of us, and eat properly (fish, green beans (garlic & olive oil) and carrots). It still takes me forever to eat but it's also still a pleasure... even though I never know what something is going to taste like until I put it in my mouth. This adds a certain mystery and apprehension to every dish...

About an hour after dinner I tried a scoop of Haagen Dazs vanilla ice cream which had been my saviour throughout my post-operatory recuperation. Unfortunately it doesn't taste as good as it used to and doesn't do wonders for my nausea. I seem to be being forced to sacrifice all of my great gustatory pleasures in my life (wine, tasty foods, wine, ice cream, wine, cheese and wine). I certainly hope it's temporary!

Overall though a definitely positive step forward through the treatment. If only every treatment day were like today...

Day 7

Finally the days are getting better.

Awoke with only slight nausea... certainly bearable. I had a Primperan and was able to eat a full breakfast (toast, yogurt and even a bowl of fruit salad Desney had prepared). It was a good feeling.

Still feeling very tired so I slept most of the morning and a good part of the afternoon. Desney spent almost the entire day out in the gardens as it was a nice day out. I didn't even take a shower until the end of the day... around 5 o'clock. Real showers since Friday morning and I appreciate every single one of 'em!

Desney made a nice dinner and I was able to eat everything (chicken legs, broccoli (my favourite), rice with a tomato and garlic sauce). It was a great feeling to have a full stomach again.

The nausea is now down to an acceptable level nothing more than just uncomfortable. I believe I can live with this. It's (again) a good feeling to know there's a light at the end of the chemotherapy tunnel. It will be a bit easier next time (I hope) with the foreknowledge that at the end of the week I should be feeling like I feel today.