Still cancer free after all these years!

As my loyal readers may remember I went in for my second annual PET Scan on October 2nd.

Here in France the results take about 10 days and they send them directly to the doctor who prescribed the scan. Therefore the results should have been sent to my ENT (ORL in French) specialist around October 14th. I therefore start getting nervous around October 16th.

The way things work in the doctors' minds is radically different than how it works in us cancer patients' minds. In the doctor's mind he will call the patient if the results show a problem which needs immediate treatment or verifying as something needs to be done. However if the results show everything's clear well... then... there's no need calling the patient right? On the other side the cancer patient, me, is sitting here nervously waiting confirmation and reassurance that the cancer has not come back somewhere else in my body. The doctor has no idea how important that tiny bit of reassurance is. He has no idea that, as a survivor, I live with the constant, not quite omnipresent but regular, abject fear that the cancer is going to come back. It was such a surprise in the first place that I am constantly suspicious that it will come back and I will not know about it. Probably the most debilitating handicap cancer survivors have to live with is psychological and emotional: we live with the eternal fear that it may come back.

After quite a few days of waiting and getting more and more anxious I finally called his office two days ago (25/10) and left a message asking if he had received the results. He has a new assistant so I had to explain what a PET scan was, that it involved cancer, and how important it was that I get a reply. I then called again yesterday (26/10) and left a message. I hoped that my annoying persistence would get through to the receptionist that this was important to me. I sent an e-mail to my (wonderful) general practitioner last night.

At 20:30 last night my ENT called me and faintly apologised with the standard explanation that if there was any problem he would have called me immediately. He told me all of the results were negative. Just like last year I had that momentary heart skip of negative... that's not positive... that's not good. Then I asked for confirmation and he reassured me that they found nothing and everything is fine. He offered to fax me the results. I explained I don't need to see the medical information, this time, I simply needed those simple words: "there is no cancer anywhere in your body at this time".

TOUT va bien. I can relax a bit with the reassurance that my body is cancer free and I can make some plans longer than a couple of weeks ahead with the notion that I will not be stopping everything to start long and obligatory cancer treatments again any time real soon.

WHEW!

Life is good.

Kiva

KIVA

THIS is what the Internet should be about: one-to-one assistance.

Kiva is microfinancing and microloaning. An entrepreneur or tiny business in need of money, generally in an underdeveloped country, requests a loan. We lenders each loan a portion of that amount directly. Once the necessary amount is raised the loan is sent to the recipient who uses it to develop their business or activity and they pay it back in installments to Kiva. Kiva then distributes the money back to the lenders.

Absolutely everyone wins in this situation: tiny businesses and individuals who would generally not be able to obtain this sort of loan from a "normal" financial institution get the money they need and they pay back in reasonable installments; lenders participate in helping individuals and businesses around the world AND lenders get their money back over time; Kiva, who do not take a cut or a percentage on the actual loan, receive donations from the lenders throughout the process.

Microloans and microfinancing: A win-win way of doing business and feeling good about business at the same time.

Big banks beware!

MY LENDER'S PAGE

Cancer Vixen

I was watching LCI this morning while having breakfast and they were interviewing Marisa Acocella Marchetto for her book Cancer Vixen which was translated to "Cancer in the City" as I'm sure the French had difficulty with the word vixen. The story behind the book and the author herself was quite interesting and I went Googling through the Net to find out more. A successful New York fashion victim cartoon artist, about to get married for the first time at the age of 43, is diagnosed with breast cancer. Her outtake and outlook on the entire experience is excellent and I can relate.

I ordered the book immediately from Amazon. But I was amazed to find what I believe to be a large part of the book, if not all of the book itself, published on the web on the The First Post site. I'm not sure why but one can read a large portion of the book directly on the site with all of the artwork and such. For whatever reason I appreciate it and it's wonderful!

I highly recommend what I've read so far to just about anyone. I particularly appreciate the comments on her web site where she mentions her next book which is, as she says "thankfully", NOT about cancer. We all move on...

Sell A Band

equation - Chilly in Paris'- on SellaBand

I found this one while listening to one of my regular podcasts of Digital Planet: What a brilliant idea! Yet another excellent use of the Internet and microfunding. Musicians and performers (Artists) present their stuff on the site (songs and sometimes videos) in the hope of earning $50,000 to go in to the studio and record. Once they're reached the magic amount they are provided with an A&R person and a producer and a recording studio and they make their CD. Afterwards the CD is sold online, 3 songs are available for free downloads and the rest of the individual songs are also sold as downloadable files. The profits for the sales of the CDs and the sales of the song downloads are split amongst the Artists, SellABand and the Believers.

Believers (you and I) purchase "parts" of the $50,000 fund for an artists at a rate of $10 per part (therefore 5,000 parts). In return the believer will receive a limited edition copy of the CD, a portion of the sales profits based on their number of parts and, most importantly, participates in the development, marketing and discovery of new artists. In most cases the Artists actually send some form of existing CD or demo CD to their believers as soon as they buy some parts so the believer doesn't have to wait until the Artist reaches the magic amount.

Sell A Band provides all sorts of tools for promoting the artists on believers' web sites, e-mails and such.

I became a believer right away and you can find my believer's page. After spending some time listening to various artists on the site, which I must say was both a lot of fun and quite enlightening, I became a believer of the group Equation which I quite enjoy. I then went to their web site and downloaded lots of their live music as MP3 files. I uploaded those music files on to our home music server and have been listening to them over and over again for quite some time know. Hypnotic. They then sent me a demo CD with a few live tracks and even a few videos of their live performances which I have also uploaded on to our server so we can watch them on the living room television and on the other computers in the house. I have become a big fan.

I must say it's a wonderful and unique opportunity to be able to communicate directly with the musicians themselves about their music, their performances, their goals, their message, their dreams and to feel like an active part in the experience. In some ways it's similar to the Salon des Vignerons Indépendants, which we attend regularly and loyally, where one gets to communicate directly with the winemaker bypassing all of the various levels of the distribution process.

There are some wondefully positive things the Internet can provide to the world and this is one of them!

Second Viddler video

This is my second Viddler video and certainly last for the day. I really should be working...

This one was recorded through my MacBook Pro just for testing and playing around with a bit of tech.

Does anyone know what the verb is for video blogging? Vlogging? Vidogging? V-Blogging?

Viddler

I found the Viddler site through my following iJustine in my regular visits through Twitter. I actually visit both Twitter and Facebook several times throughout the day as well as updating them both through the web or through my phone.

Viddler looks like fun and it was incredibly easy to start using. Below is my first Viddler video and I'm going to now try and record another one from my Mac to test out how it works on another platform.

Do I really have time for this? No way. Is it fun? Definitely. Should I be doing this right now? That's debatable. But technological exploration is my life!

Does this have anything whatsoever to do with Cancer? No.

Is there more to life than Cancer? Damn straight!

Viddler

My first Viddler video. We'll see if, and how, this thing works....

Scarface - 2 years later

I had scheduled myself to do this on September 26th, 2006... but I had computer problems and then network problems and then my webcam broke and ...

This shot is to show off my scar 2 years after the surgery. The goal is to show the evolution of the scar which is especially of interest to others who may, unfortunately, have to go through the same type of procedure.

This photo shows my scar on my neck as of today (October 8th, 2006).


This photo, on the right, shows my scar from 2 years ago just after taking the bandages off. It comes from my blog entry of September 26th, 2005. Quite a few things have changed since that photo not least of which is that I have aged 2 years; I have changed webcams which shows a noticeable difference in quality (I now have a Logitech QuickCam Ultra Vision which I am quite pleased with); I have changed spectacles which is not quite as noticeable although the news ones have progressive lens thanks to a combination of age and (mostly) the effects of high neck radiation thereapy on the back of the eyes... add to all of this the fact that I need a haircut and a shave and you can still analyse the difference between the 2 photos and the 2 periods.

I am quite pleased to see that the scar has significantly faded since the beginning and the colouring has changed from a rather noticeable brownish red to a hopefully more subtle redish brown. It's certainly still noticeable but I feel it is a lot less "in your face". The other difference I notice, both visually and physically, is that the scar has receded in to my throat/neck over time and it pulls on the skin surrounding the scar as I move. This causes a sort of pull every now and then, and extremely rarely a slight spasm of pain, but it rarely bothers me and throat pain has become quite relative to me in the past 2 years.

It's interesting to follow the evolution of the scar as this is certainly the most noticeable aspect of my cancer. I like to think that if the scar wasn't up on my throat and ears that most people would not even know that there was anything different about me in comparison to most people... disregarding my other personal excenticitries and unique quirks of fashion and expression.

;-)

My Second Annual PET Scan

Having scheduled it several weeks ago I knew that today was going to be my second annual PET scan. I can still remember my first PET Scan quite well.

I woke up late as I knew I wasn't going to be able in the morning. But I made this appointment much earlier than the previous one (09:45 this time) so that I could basically get up, shower and go.

I plugged the address in Sarcelles in to my GPS and headed off. Last year I left myself an hour to get there and it only took 20 minutes. This year I left myself a half an hour and there was, of course, an accident on the autoroute and then road construction on the side streets. I arrived about 15 minutes late having been stuck for about 10 minutes only 400 metres away from the centre.

The rest was now ordinary: a bit of paperwork, a 5-minute visit with a doctor who this time only asked if anything had changed since last time, sit in the waiting room for about a half an hour and then off for the procedure. As I walked in to the examining room I realised how much I do not miss these medical centres which I now only have to go to rarely in comparison to going daily just a couple of years ago. The nurse was very kind to remind me to go to the toilet beforehand, which made me feel like a 6-year old boy, as I would be lying down for over an hour and a half without moving. She then took some blood from my finger and put in the intravenous distributor in my elbow.

I was then put in a bed to lie down. The nurse comes back in, this time with a lead protection jacket on, and injects the "product" in to me while saying "this won't hurt or feel hot" and such niceties and I'm saying to myself "If this is so inocuous why are you wearing a lead protection jacket and I'm half naked being shot up with whatever it is you're being protected from?". I'm then told to remain horizontal for at least an hour. Things started going a bit downhill for the centre from this point forward. For me it was easy as I basically drifted off in to sleep as I had only slept about 4 or 5 hours the night before. But I could still hear the discussions around me. One woman was just plain being difficult and then started crying about how no one cares about her and on and on. I could relate but didn't really want to hear about it when we were all trying to relax and prepare for our turn. Then it turns out that they were having problems with the scanner itself. They stopped injecting new patients. But those of us who had already been injected were going to have to wait. Each scan normally takes about 20 minutes but they were now taking about an hour. I lay there just waiting.

Finally it was my turn. Off with the watch, eyeglasses, trousers and earring. I was then placed in the, now all to familiar, scan tunnel and had my arms put in to position (above my head) and my neck and hip placed. I was then told to not move during the procedure which "should normally" last 20 minutes. I asked "normally?" and the nurse explained they were having issues with the equipment this morning and that it may take longer. Laying in one position without moving at all for over 20 minutes is not fun. As I was slowly rolled out from the tunnel I was told I was one of the lucky ones as my scan "only" took 30 minutes. I thought to myself: "you should lie down in there without moving for 'only' 30 minutes and see how 'lucky' you feel!"

For an exam that was supposed to cut out about 3 or 4 hours of my day I didn't get out of there until well past 3 and headed home to eat and drink a bit.

Now comes the hard part... they send the results to my doctor in about 10 days and I spend the interim period waiting, waiting and waiting...

Incandescent vs CFL vs LED lights

I haven't written in a while... but this is just a little something that struck me today:

a comparison between incandescent, CFL and LED light bulbs.

Although the LED bulbs use 94% less electricity than the incandescent bulb they also give off 93% less light. But those CFL bulbs look pretty amazing in these tests. I'm willing to give up 5% to 6% of light (800 lumens instead of 850) to use 78% less electricity (13.94 watts instead of 62.87)!

We hope to start testing the CFL bulbs around our house sometime soon... I'm sure I'll mention it here...

Yet another medical exam

The morning I left for Switzerland (last Wednesday) I went in for blood and urine tests. I had also booked my appointment for today's "echography" (sonography?) of my bladder and prostate. As I mentioned in my entry as regards my doctor's appointment I lately have moments when I have to go pee right away and can't hold it in very well. Dr. Girard therefore sent me off for "la totale" of tests to see if it was a chemical problem, an organ problem or, God forbid, the cancer coming back somewhere else. As he said we will always have to be on the look out for that. I therefore have spent the days since our appointment with yet another worry...

The blood and urine results looked good so it's not a chemical problem. Unfortunately, in my medically ignorant mind, that made me believe it was more likely a problem with the actual organs and more likely the dreaded cancer coming back.

I loved the conflict of the exam... I was having this exam because I have difficulty holding my water. When I made the appointment for the exam they knew this and their response was that I need to not urinate for an hour before the exam. At all. I explained how difficult that was going to be... anyway I made it...

The bladder echography was easy and he let me pee right afterwards. He said everything was fine with my bladder from what he could see. So now I'm extra worried I've got prostate cancer or something. To top it off he puts on the rubber gloves and hits me with "Mr. Erb you were informed that the prostate echography is done internally n'est-ce pas ?" Um... for some reason no one had mentioned that to me. So now I go from having cameras shoved up my nose and down my throat to having a camera, within a rod which looked to me like a male homosexual's large vibrator, shoved up my ass. Oh well...

In the end, and this is truly the moment to use that term, the results were perfectly fine. My prostate's fine as well.

Basically the problem, at the moment, appears to be that I just drink too much water and too regularly. I wonder if other throat cancer survivors have the same problem. It's a standard cause and effect relationship: drink lots of liquids and you're gonna pee alot and often.

I guess that it was all good news...

Now it's back to the doctor to see if there's anything to do knowing that it isn't a major problem...

Harry Potter VII

Got up relatively early for me on a Saturday and I was out of the house by about 9:45 and off to La Défense.

I got there at 10:05 just after the opening of the stores...

I was heading for FNAC as I knew they would have what I had come looking for. However when I got to the top of the escalator out of the parking lot right in front of me was Virgin Megastore and their entire entrance was devoted to the new release...

I ran in and took 3 copies of the shelves (1 for me, 1 for Alexandra and 1 for Jessica) and then got sucked in to the store... it's absolutely enormous! I strolled around for a while. I had the books in my hands so I had nothing to worry about. I ended up buying a whole bunch of magazines (digital stuff, computer stuff, stereo and audiofile sutff, ...) and by the time I got to the cash registers there were queues everywhere.

But it was really funny to see so many people with the book in their hands... some adults were literally trying to hide the book while they were in the queue hoping no one would notice what they were buying...

I left the stored with 3 copies, got to the car and back home by 11:00.

At 11:15 I started reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (aka Harry Potter VII). Please leave me alone for a few days as it's going to take me a while to get through over 600 pages...

Another doctor's appointment

This evening we went for a family doctor appointment. All four of us went back to our old neighbourhood (Paris XVth) to see Dr. Girard who we've known for years.

Jessica went first as she was then heading off to Brittany for a bit of holiday with a friend. Alexandra followed, then Desney and then me. I take the longest...

Most of his comments were how pleased he was that I had regained my original weight and I was looking healthy. We started by going over the results of my last visits with Dr. Hagège and he was pleased. We went over how the visits should be twice-yearly as of next year, rather than quarterly, depending on my CAT scans and then perhaps annually after 5 years. I had mentioned that my goal was to reach the magic figure of 5 years when I would be considered "clean". He smiled and then got very serious. "We used to consider that after 5 years the cancer had been eliminated. We no longer make that declaration. It could come back in 7 years, in 10 years, in 15 years or at any point. Every year you go without cancer the less likely it is to come back. But it is always a possibility and we will have to be extremely careful and vigilant for the rest of your life however long that may be."

Well that host my hopes down and was pretty much an emotional shot to my optimism...

I then brought up what has been bothering me and which I did/do not know is related to the cancer or not. Often, not every time but often, when I need to pee I have to go then and there. I can't wait long. I will not go in to too many details but it's a definite urgency. He went in to great details in his question (flow rates, in the night or not?, timing before and after, ...). I had always thought that it was just because I drink so much water and so constantly now. He is now sending me off for sonographies of that whole area (bladder and prostate), blood tests, urine tests... the works. I'm really looking forward to it... not!

He then examined me fully... when he looked in my throat he immediately said my tongue was still very "hairy". I told him that it basically always has been since the treatment. He said we had to continue to treating it so as to avoid fungus (mushrooms), infection and such. As my mouth is dry, and lacks saliva, it is much more susceptible to infection and problems. He now is going to have me gargling with bicarbonate of soda after every meal and then brushing my tongue with Fungizone twice a day. Something else to look forward to...

I then asked him when we could remove the catheter port in my chest. He said that normally they would think of removing it 2 years after the end of treatment. For me that would be December 9th, 2007. He also said that often people just leave it in for the rest of their lives. *IF* the cancer ever comes back it's one less intervention to not have to put the catheter port back in. I told him I would prefer to have it out as it bothers me both psychologically and physcially to have it there. He said we'll go over the possibility again after my next PET scan results (October) and before the Christmas holiday period.

I explained that my allergies had come back and he gave me a new prescription for the same old tablets.

Next step is to go through all of the various tests (sonographies, blood and urine tests, ...) and to go back to see him to go over the results. There is always a risk of prostate cancer or bladder cancer... but I should't worry...

Yeah... right... me worry?

;-(

Nothing but good news

Very busy day today. An installation and a meeting in the morning where I showed up ready to install 2 or 3 things and there were 3 more things waiting for me. I was quite impressed with myself that when I left, on time, everything worked. I was impressed not just because of my usual technological prowess but because I was able to keep my mind on what I was doing. Off to a second meeting, without lunch, where just about everything went wrong. This is for the installation of a new telephone system (IP-based) which I'm overseeing. The telephone company delivered the wrong rack (too big); the telephone installer had just left on holiday; the telephone company (France Télécom) were supposed to be there between 14:00 and 15:00 did not show; the telephone company claimed that they would not have some of the parts in time and on and on.

No matter what at 15:00 I took my Xanax, brushed my teeth and started to prepare myself for the event of the day which my mind kept wandering back to. At 15:20 I left and headed off for my quarterly checkup with Dr. Hagège.

I was just reading my Blog Entry for my last visit in March. The experience was basically exactly the same. All of the same comments apply and even the same subjects of discussion.

The important point for me was that throughout the grueling exam he kept saying "parfaitement normal" or "très bien" or "souple et sans odème" all the sorts of things I wanted to hear. Of course my eyes were closed so I could not see on the huge screen whatever he was referring too and tears tend to run down my face during the exam which blurs my vision as well. But it was still a psychologically great feeling to hear an endless flow of positive statements while he was doing these things to me.

In the end when we sat down for our discussion his first words were "rien que des bonnes nouvelles" (nothing but good news). He then summarised with the same things he had said in March:

• A PET scan in October


• Quarterly exam with him in October with the results


• If the PET scan results are good then I will start seeing him every 6 months rather than every 4 months


• Visit with my general practitioner in October, if the PET scan results are good, to discuss removing the catheter from my chest and the rest of the evolution of my situation

I left there feeing physically awful as usual but psychologically quite uplifted. Another four months have gone by and I still do not have any cancer they can find and my throat is healing fine and my vocal chords are still intact and functioning.

I went home and put myself to bed as usual. I got up around 19:45. My nose and throat felt pretty bad. We ordered out Japanese (easy to swallow) and sat back and watched a movie.

After the movie was over I took the girls out to the Seine for the Asnières fireworks and July 14th party. The fireworks themselves were pretty unimpressive and disappointing in comparison to previous years. The dance scene was fun and we danced in the heat with hundreds of other Asnièrois for a while. The music wasn't that great and we finally headed home about half past midnight.

Home and to sleep... dreams of a healthy body, my future PET scan, getting the catheter ripped out of my chest, the day when I no longer have to go through these exams, the doctor saying "rien que des bonnes nouvelles" over and over in my head...

And... preparing myself with childish excitement for the arrival of the 7th, and final, Harry Potter book next Saturday!

I am going to be around, and healthy, to read and thoroughly enjoy it!

iTunes Plus = Same old rubbish in new package

When I heard about iTunes Plus I was all excited. As I mentioned in a previous blog entry I had spent quite a lot of time and money on iTunes songs for my iPods over the years only to come to the sad realisation that my songs were being held hostage by Apple and their DRM rules. At the same time I had ripped all of my CDs, about 10,000 songs, to completely DRM-free and industry-standard high-quality (320 kbps) MP3 files which could be used on iPods, any other MP3 player and (of course) on our digital music library systems such as Squeezebox and Sonos. I had stopped buying and downloading songs from the iTunes stores long ago after experiencing the sour aftertaste of being ripped off.

I was all excited to learn that Apple was now going to be offering DRM-free higher-quality (256 kbps instead of their usual 128 kbps) music for sale. I was even willing to pay the higher price for what I feel I should have been sold in the first place. Although 256 kbps is still a little lower than my 320 kbps MP3 files it was certainly a quality level I was willing to live with for permanent places in our digital libraries.

I finally got around to trying it out. I went to the iTunes Plus portion of the store and I purchased the Corinne Bailey Rae album in the new iTunes Plus format. I eagerly stared at iTunes while it downloaded the files. As soon as it was done I closed iTunes and went looking for the files in my iTunes folders on the server. I naively was looking for MP3 files. Don't ask why I made this naive and, with hindsight, rather silly assumption. But I had actually assumed, for a short period of time, that I was going to be buying DRM-free higher-quality MP3 files. I found the files. They were not what I expected. They are selling what they now refer to as "Purchased AAC files" instead of the previous "Protected AAC files". Although the files are supposedly DRM-free they are in a proprietary format which is not usable by most MP3 players (portable or distributed).

Before in order to be able to properly use the files I bought from the iTunes store I would have to burn the files to an audio CD and then rip the audio CD, as I would any other audio CD, to create MP3 files. Although I would rip them at 320 kbps I was obviously not getting any better quality than my original files (128 kbps). I still had to go through a 2-stage process, as well as the cost of a blank CD, just to get the MP3 files I could use of the music I had legally purchased. The revolution of the iTunes Plus system? I still have to burn the files to an audio CD and I still have to rip that audio CD to create the MP3 files to be able to properly use them universally. I end up with a better quality file in the end (256 kbps). But this is still not as good, nor as easy, as when I rip directly from an audio CD I purchase or borrow. Again I feel as though I, the paying client, am being unjustly handicapped and I still get a better digital experience by ripping directly from audio CDs. Purchasing an audio CD and ripping it to MP3 files is supposedly illegal. Borrowing a CD and ripping it to MP3 files is certainly illegal. However, yet again, the music companies themselves have created and maintained a system whereby piracy still produces the better quality musical experience with a greater ease no matter how much the client is willing to spend to purchase music online.

Lesson learned: I have now stopped buying from iTunes again...

The Shoes From Hell

Some of you may remember my entry as regards my new shoes: Daddy Needs A New Pair of Shoes. A loyal reader of this blog, who I see every now and then, mentioned them the last time I saw her and how she would like to see what they looked like. I then realised I hadn't ever tried them on and it would be a good time to try them out. I had a 16:00 meeting yesterday and then a parents' association meeting in the evening and reckoned now would be a good time. I slipped in to them just before driving to my meeting in Paris. By the time I got to the parking lot near the meeting it had become obvious that the shoes were at least a half a size too small. They are 8 and a half D which is precisely my American shoe size right down to the D width. But, from this manufacturer, that size just is too small. By the time I left my client meeting and was driving to my parents' association meeting I was literally screaming in pain in the car. No one could hear me as I was still driving around with The Who at absolutely blaring volume with the sun roof open. People who turned their head and stared at the obnoxiously loud car going by all thought I was singing at the top of my lungs. In actual fact I was bellowing my pain to the world. I pulled in to the parking lot and wondered if I was going to be able to walk to my meeting. I got there and spent the rest of the evening downing red wine to try and numb my feet. I knew perfectly well that if I ever I took these shoes off I was never going to put them on again. I finally took them off in the parking lot and drove home in my stocking feet. I woke up this morning with two enormous blisters on my heels and my toes feeling crunched in to one big toe. Now I get a bit of a feeling of what women who wear tiny pointed-toe shoes must feel like.

I've never had any problems buying my saddle shoes on the web and I stupidly did not even try this on in America before leaving. They will now spend the rest of their shoe life in my wardrobe...

The Who - (a)Live!

Through a wonderful set of circumstances I ended up with tickets to last night's concert of The Who!!!

Basically it sort of worked out like this. I'm on the phone with my favourite client on Tuesday and we're discussing plans for the rest of the week:

I don't know if we can see each other on Wednesday... I don't know if you heard but I'm going to The Who concert.

"I heard... and I want you to know I'm really jealous. I hope you have a great time... I know you're going to have a great time. Enjoy it!"

Oh yeah? Well I've got 2 extra tickets you want to come?

A certain amount of ums and ahs on my part as I'm trying to imagine Desney at a Who concert: "I'll have to check with my wife... but no matter what have a great time. You deserve it. Enjoy it!"

Have a great time? Forget that... I'll see you tomorrow!

At that point she hung up the phone and I knew I was going. I spoke to her assistant and the tickets had already been arranged.

I knew there was no way I could convince Desney to go to a Who concert. But I asked anyway just in case. Desney's reply was obvious. I next thought of my neighbour who is also a big Who fan. But I did not think her husband would appreciate my taking his wife out to a Who concert... it would also be sort of difficult to explain to "the gang" at the concert when I showed up with a beautiful woman who was not my wife. Next choice was Jessica. Jess is certainly not a Who fan by any means. But she likes lots of different types of music and she loves going to concerts. She ever so reluctantly agreed. I got her listening to The Who tracks on our music system between then and the concert. I have just about everything The Who recorded so she had a good foundation by the time we left.


I had not bought tickets myself for this particular tour as I have to admit I was a bit worried as to what a Who concert would be like with only half of The Who. Would it be half a concert? The last time I had seen The Who, which was also my first time, was in 1981 or 1982 at The Rose Bowl Stadium in Pasadena, California. This was the very end of what was supposed to be their "farewell" tour. I was so psyched to finally be seeing The Who live and as well to be one of the last to see them perform live. At the time Keith Moon had already been dead for a few years and he had been replaced by Kenny Jones. But that still left the Power Trio of Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend (one of rock's greatest guitarists ever and probably it's greatest power guitarist) and John Entwistle who I believe to be rock's all-time greatest bassist. That concert started with an opening performance by a little-known UK band called The Clash. Needless to say they absolutely blew the stadium wide open and we were all primed and ready for The Who. The Who's concert was absolutely amazing, one I have never forgotten, and just seemed to last forever. I was extremely pleased to have kept my various natural chemical mixtures to a minimum that night and I remember just about everything of the experience!

Well I needn't have worried. Yes... The opening band was rather mediocre and uninspiring, everyone was certainly there for The Who and no one else, relatively few people got up out of their seats and they had replaced the faussé with seats. But the concert was amazing from the second they started. Daltrey and Townshend came out first to roaring applause and it went on from there. I spent forever screaming, shouting, screaming all the words to all the old songs as they played. They did quite a lot of the old songs from all of their earlier periods as well as from their latest album. I didn't know the words to any of the latest album songs but I was amazed I still new absolutely all the words from all of the older songs. There were a few obvious points when I just bounded out of my seat, screamed along and generally bounced along. After the first 2 or 3 notes of "Who Are You" I knew what was coming and I was up. After two notes of "Baba O'Reilly" I was ready. After two notes of "Won't Get Fooled Again" I was already in a frenzy. When "Who Are You" started I was up and dancing. Unfortunately we were in a seated area and I fear I kneed the face of the guy sitting in front of me... rather fiercely I might add. I apologised and kept going... all the time trying to avoid his head throughout the rest of the performance. These "old" guys were just downright amazing. I was worried that Townshend's partial deafness might impede upon his playing. He was tremendous. Still rocking the house and with power chords which shook the walls. Daltrey's voice is amazingly still as powerful and yet smooth as ever. It's all still there. But the real discovery for me this evening was The Who now have the best drummer they've ever had since Keith Moon. His name is Zak Starkey and he is just plain wonderful. Playing drums for The Who has got to be one of the toughest drum jobs in rock. The drums are such an integral part of so many of their songs. Starkey is the first to maintain Keith Moon's participation, without actually copying him, and especially the energy level. He made the night. He is unfortunately more known by the older crowd as Ringo Starr's son. He should just be known as Zak Starkey: Excellent rock drummer! When he's not playing with The Who you can find him playing drums for Oasis. The concert just seemed to go on forever! They played and played and I was lost in a sincerely severe case of nostalgic pleasure. I felt exactly like I was 22 years old again. It was a truly energizing experience. In the end they did 3 encores and finished with a beautiful duo with just Daltrey singing his guts out and Townshend showing how powerful an accoustic guitar can be. They had performed non-stop for two and a half hours and left the stage as champions and heros.

It turns out Jessica quite enjoyed the concert. She appeared to have a great time. We bought our obligatory T-shirts and stopped off at a brasserie across the street for a drink before heading home. I had no voice left and my throat was absolutely scorched and burning with pain. But I barely noticed it. This was an entirely new, and somewhat reminiscent, type of throat pain that did not bother me. I was actually rather pleased to have gotten to that level of experience. This pain was purely and simply from screaming, supposedly singing, my lungs out in pure happiness and pleasure for over 2 hours. This pain I could live with. I also knew that a nice cold beer or two would help soothe the immediate symptoms and in a day or two I would be back to my normal level of pain and dryness.

I discovered an interesting phenomenon at the brasserie when having our after-concert drink. We kept hearing bits of the concert popping up around us. One after the other people all around us were looking at their cell phones and watching the small videos they had recorded during the concert. It wasn't just one or two or three. We were sitting at a table on the outside terrasse. Practically every single table had at least one cell phone checking out a tiny video clip they had just recorded. Even Jessica had her 30 seconds of souvenir in her pocket. I felt extremely disappointed with my, oh so business-oriented, Blackberry, and even quite jealous that others would be going home with a few seconds of the concert in their pocket. I also quite enjoyed the feeling of somehow extending the concert up feeling for a few minutes more by sitting in a café and watching a few seconds of the experience we had all just shared.

In prepartion for the concert I had spent Tuesday night and most of the day yesterday listening to The Who blaring through my music system. I had also gone around to the various Who web sites. On The Who Tour web site they had some press interviews with Daltrey and Townshend announcing the tour. I watched a couple of these. In one of them they mentioned how they were fighting back against bootlegged copies of their concerts. They were recording and producing their own bootleg CDs and DVDs of every one of their concert tour performances and selling them on their bootleg concert web site. All profits from these sales go to charities chosen by Daltrey and Townshend. It also means that all of us can get CDs and DVDs of the concerts. I went their this morning and ordered my copy of last night's performance. I can't wait to relive the moments with Jessica at home on the TV and music system.

A night I will not forget for quite some time... I rarely feel my age... But I actually felt well and truly young again for a few hours and that is just simply priceless!

Cirque du Soleil - Alegría

Today was my birthday present. Desney had bought us tickets for Cirque du Soleil for all of the family for my birthday. Tonight was the night.

We had all gone to see Saltimbanco a few years ago, also for my birthday I believe, and we all found it to be one of the greatest theatrical experiences of our lives. The circus aspect is, of course, breathtaking. But the lighting, the costumes, the makeup, the characters, the language and the simple level of quality throughout were all remarkable. We loved it.

I was a bit worried that tonight's performance of Alegría wasn't going to live up to our rather high expectations. Memories of a good show tend to make that show seem even better in hindsight and I was worried tonight would be a disappointment. Needlessly so. Tonight's show was just as breathtaking, just as amazingly perfect and just as impressive. We all left feeling like we had just lived through something special and I got a wonderful evening out sharing a special experience with my family. What better birthday present could there be?

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes

Most people who know me personally have seen me walking around in my saddle shoes. These are my favourite shoes and the ones I wear most often. They're not easy to find and I have to keep ordering more and more to replace them as they wear out. They don't reshine that well so as they get really dirty they get replaced. I think they last me about 6 months or so. I order them from a specialty store which specialises in saddle shoes: Muffy's. I get them shipped to my mother in Brooklyn who then either ships them to me or brings them on her next visit to France.

For a long time now I have been looking for two-toned wing tips. I wish I can say it was entirely my idea, although it is to a certain extent, it actually comes from seeing Johnny Depp wearing them at some event. I tend to quite like the guy's style. I couldn't find them anywhere in Europe and finally I found some of them online in the States. But I was not willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a pair of shoes. I just am not that much of a fashion victim.


While I was here in America I thought I'd check out Amazon, amongst others, to see if I needed anything that I could have delivered here and take back with me. There they were on the Amazon site and on sale. I had to get 'em! I ordered the shoes last week and had them shipped to my mother with the faint hope that they might be delivered before I left. If not I would have to wait until she could ship them or come back to France. I got the phone call today. Arlene called me to tell me the shoes had arrived. Although I had obviously been planning on somehow seeing her this evening that synched it. We had to have dinner! I am now the proud owner of a pair of two-toned wing tips which I will be wearing in France. This, as usual, will be to the great embarassment of my wife and kids.

Michel Camilo Live at the Blue Note

Just got back from my first night at a jazz club in New York for over 20 years...

My mother and her friend, Hilary, got tickets for the Michel Camilo trio at the Blue Note downtown in the West Village.

The concert was just plain amazing. The kind of night when you come out of the club feeling uplifted. Just plain excellent. The combination of latin jazz, classic foundations and origins, an amazing rhythm section and a pianist that just doesn't stop made for an incredible evening.

The strangest aspect of the evening was there was absolutely no smoking in the club. I have never been in a jazz club without smoke. It was actually quite strange. The lighting was just all wrong and everything was just all too clean. It doesn't go along with jazz...

But it was a wonderful night of great music and great company and an enthralling performance. I left with a Blue Note t-shirt, a Blue Note torch (flashlight) and Michel Camilo's latest disc: Spirit of the Moment.