Still young and cancer free!!!

Yet another exam...

I organised myself properly this time. I made the appointment towards the end of the day (around 16:00) so I was able to do some work in the morning and early afternoon. Brushed my teeth and popped my Xanax at 15:00 and was even a little early for my appointment so as not to be stressed out by parking and timing. I started relaxing myself as much as possible from 15:00 on...

He was a bit late, as usual, but it went well. The same exam as always. Now that I know what's coming and in what order it's sometimes easier and sometimes more difficult as I know what's next and I don't necessarily like it. As when I made it through the camera up through the left nostril and down the throat I knew that no matter what I was going to have to live through the right nostril as well. A few coughs and gags but overall it went well. The worst part is still when he holds my tongue with one hand, has me pant like a dog and then shoves his finger down my throat with the other hand. I still don't understand how I could ever possible do this one without gagging. But we got through it. He was actually pleased that it was "easier" than usual. Yeah... right... easier for him maybe.

The important part was afterwards. This was the first time I found myself able to look at the enormous video on the scrren of the insides of my throat. He explained that he was very pleased at the evolution and how few long-term bruises or scars I had internally. I was even more pleased than he to hear this. We then discussed my tongue which still has this fungus which comes and goes along the back of my tongue. He made sure it had not reached my digestive tract and we discussed various treatments. The difficulty is that it goes away and then, about a month later, it comes back. It never seems to go away permanently. He gave me some new treatments and we'll see.

The most important part of the whole process for me, aside from the wonderful declaration that as of this moment I am entirely cancer-free, is that we have now changed the frequency of these sadistic/masochistic visits. The first year it was every 3 months, the second year it was every 4 months and now that we're in the third year it's every 6 months and I don't have to see him again until July. I told him that it's not that it's not a pleasure to see him.. but... it's really not a pleasure to see him. He understood.

I came home and went to sleep for a few hours and felt groggy for the rest of the evening. A couple of episodes of West Wing and off to bed.