It just gets worse

Dr. Kanoui just called. He met with 4 other oncologists this morning and he talked with Dr. Hagege and all of them agreed that I need chemotherapy in addition to the x-ray therapy.

He explained to me a bit about how it would work. There would be 3 or 4 series of chemotherapy during the 8 weeks of x-ray therapy. 3 days of x-ray and chemotherapy together and then 18 days of x-ray therapy only and then 3 days of both, etc.

I asked him about the side effects and he explained that the chemo will accentuate the negative effects of the x-ray therapy so I will be more tired, I will have more difficulty swallowing and eating, I will have more burning sensations internally and externally. I asked him about the classic side effects of chemo and he said they have much better medication to treat the nausea and that hair loss is not systematic.

This would involve much more preparation and more appointments at the clinic. He wants to start everything as quickly as possible. He said I still have the option to refuse. But he needs an answer quickly. I asked him if I could call him back and he said "of course".

I called Desney who was most supportive and wants me to do whatever is necessary. I called Dr. Girard who thinks that it is logical that I go through chemo especially taking in to consideration the number of cancerous tumours that they found. He explained a bit more to me about how the cancer cells can spread and how they can be too small to show up on a scanner today but 3 to 9 months later be full-blown tumours. The chemotherapy will eliminate those before they grow in to something which would bring the cancer back.

After a big deep breath, and a mild panic, I called Dr. Kanoui back and told him I agreed to the chemotherapy.

I will go through it. I am not at all happy. I am angry, scared and sad all at the same time. But I will go through it.

I will be very, very upset if the cancer comes back after all of this.

It's going to be a very, very long 2 months.

:-(