Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Day 44 - Back to the clinic

Last night was probably the worst. I had coughing fits almost hourly and they were really very painful. Coughing and wretching both really hurt my throat. I just wish it would stop...

I got out of bed around 9:00 trying to get at least the slightest bits of sleep in bouts. I took all morning getting breakfast down, my medicine and getting ready. By the end of the morning I had to grab a very quick lunch (a sandwich from the local bakery) and dash off to the clinic.

The clinic has 2 radiation therapy machines. One on each side of the building. "My" machine is the one on the far side. Today my machine wasn't working. They were therefore running very late as they had to squeeze both groups on to the one machine on the near side. I arrived 5 minutes early and ended up waiting an hour and a quarter before my treatment. As the team working on this machine is different from the other team I couldn't get my schedule planned for next week. As everything was running late the doctors were running late as well. I wanted to see a doctor about the coughing, the spots on my tongue and the constant pain. However I was told I would have to wait another hour and a half to see a doctor. I went home.

The pain and dryness increased after today's treatment. I sometimes get the feeling someone's trying to test me with all of this to see just how much I can stand.

"Still here?"... "let's try giving some more then! We'll see if you come back."

Desney prepared a delicious steak and salad. I could eat the steak, albeit embarassingly slowly, but the sauce on the salad burned my tongue and throat.

I spent the evening watching TV shows I had recorded from BBC Prime on to the computer (Down to Earth and good ole Ballykissangel).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Derek!!
We're all praying for you!,and all this pain to be over...Looking forward to this all being just some bad,bad memory...
we love you...xox...

Anonymous said...

Do you have any idea what is bringing on these coughing fits? They seem to have appeared pretty suddenly.

Derek Erb said...

The coughing fits have been going on for quite some time now. Then again just about everything feels like "quite some time now".

I know where it comes from. It's how to get rid of them I can't figure. They started zapping my salivary glands a couple of weeks ago and they continue around that area. The coughing fits are caused by salive or rather the lack thereof. My glands are not producing enough saliva anymore. I apologise for this biologically graphic description (you asked for it): As I sleep it slowly but surely develops in to a ball of thick saliva which falls in to the back of my throat. The body then goes through the natural reflex of coughing or wretching to get it out of the throat. The problem is that the saliva doesn't dissolve or break down. It therefore keeps trying to go down the throat and the throat keeps trying to get rid of it. As it finally starts to go down the throat the body believes it's too thick and fatty and it starts to wretch it back up. All of this basically produces acid going up and down my throat which rips me apart.

I've spoken to the doctors already about some magic chemical which could break up or dilute the saliva. They say it doesn't exist. I fear that this is just another stage that I'm "going to have to get through".