No matter what at 15:00 I took my Xanax, brushed my teeth and started to prepare myself for the event of the day which my mind kept wandering back to. At 15:20 I left and headed off for my quarterly checkup with Dr. Hagège.
I was just reading my Blog Entry for my last visit in March. The experience was basically exactly the same. All of the same comments apply and even the same subjects of discussion.
The important point for me was that throughout the grueling exam he kept saying "parfaitement normal" or "très bien" or "souple et sans odème" all the sorts of things I wanted to hear. Of course my eyes were closed so I could not see on the huge screen whatever he was referring too and tears tend to run down my face during the exam which blurs my vision as well. But it was still a psychologically great feeling to hear an endless flow of positive statements while he was doing these things to me.
In the end when we sat down for our discussion his first words were "rien que des bonnes nouvelles" (nothing but good news). He then summarised with the same things he had said in March:
- A PET scan in October
- Quarterly exam with him in October with the results
- If the PET scan results are good then I will start seeing him every 6 months rather than every 4 months
- Visit with my general practitioner in October, if the PET scan results are good, to discuss removing the catheter from my chest and the rest of the evolution of my situation
I left there feeing physically awful as usual but psychologically quite uplifted. Another four months have gone by and I still do not have any cancer they can find and my throat is healing fine and my vocal chords are still intact and functioning.
I went home and put myself to bed as usual. I got up around 19:45. My nose and throat felt pretty bad. We ordered out Japanese (easy to swallow) and sat back and watched a movie.
After the movie was over I took the girls out to the Seine for the Asnières fireworks and July 14th party. The fireworks themselves were pretty unimpressive and disappointing in comparison to previous years. The dance scene was fun and we danced in the heat with hundreds of other Asnièrois for a while. The music wasn't that great and we finally headed home about half past midnight.
Home and to sleep... dreams of a healthy body, my future PET scan, getting the catheter ripped out of my chest, the day when I no longer have to go through these exams, the doctor saying "rien que des bonnes nouvelles" over and over in my head...
And... preparing myself with childish excitement for the arrival of the 7th, and final, Harry Potter book next Saturday!
I am going to be around, and healthy, to read and thoroughly enjoy it!