Home Sweet Home

This will be a quick entry and I will try and fill in more later.

I got home from the hospital yesterday. A lot of surgery on Thursday and a lot of resting and medication since.

I still can't eat solids so I am very weak and have my ups and downs both physically and emotionally. Thank God for pain killers as they are probably what is keeping me going at the moment.

It's amazing how we take all of the most simplest things in life for granted. Do you have any idea how many times a day you swallow? I certainly never thought about it before. But with the combination of the swelling from the tumour surgery constricting my throat and the fact that they took my tonsils out as well every single swallow is a rather masochistic experience I would gladly live without. Biology was never one of my big subjects so I'm definitely off on the figures. But we must swallow thousands if not tens of thousands of times a day!

I'm eating yoghurt, petits suisses, apple and pear purées, more yoghurt and ice cream. After almost a week of this diet I've lost 2 and a half kilos! If it was fat I was losing, rather than muscle and energy, I would probably be pleased.

Nowadays I dream of being able to swallow without thinking about it like everyone else on the planet.

I go see the doctor to get my bandages changed tomorrow and then on Friday he will hopefully remove the stitches. If I'm lucky he'll also have the results of the biopsy they performed on the tumours they removed on Thursday to know what happens next.

This morning was very rough and painful, as has been most mornings, but this afternoon I seem to have enough energy to sit in front of my computer for an hour already.

A big THANK YOU to everyone for their kind wishes, e-mails, gifts and flowers. It's a very good feeling to know there are so many people out there thinking positively. I think it's the best possible weapon.

My family is taking amazing care of me and keeping me going.

More news later...