Tonsil Cancer Support eGroup

A few days ago I received an invitation to join yet another eGroup. As usual I put this on hold. But I was very pleasantly surprised when I came back to it a couple of days later...

When I was going through the beginnings of my cancer experience (diagnosis, surgery and then treatments) I was starving for information as regards others who had already been through what I was about to go through or was going through. At that time the best site I found was Raph's Tonsil Cancer Page. Raph had been diagnosed with tonsil cancer in August 2003 and had already gone through most of what I was going through. His page was presented like a blog, with some photos and such, and was a great reassurance for me.

The invitation I received a few days ago was from this very same Raph and I knew I had to join. He, and his wife Lee, had created the first Tonsil Cancer Support eGroup. I joined the eGroup, read a few of the stories or others who have been through the same type of experience as I have, or are going through it now, or know others who have/wiil go(ne) through it. It was a wonderful experience. Although I now consider myself a cancer survivor I also know it ain't over yet (or until the proverbial fat lady sings). As you all know I am still going through my regular checkups, tests and scans and I often think what would I do if it came back. I'm therefore still part of the cancer survival experience. I am just now starting to realise that my story is rapidly becoming the sort of good news factual experience I was looking for when I was first diagnosed. I am becoming living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I do not know how long that light will stay lit or how brightly but I'm in the light somehow. When I read others stories it confirms much of what I had said during the beginning of my treatment: every single cancer is different and unique; every single cancer treatment is differenta nd unique; every single cancer victim/survivor is different and unique. When I read of others experiences, and when I go back and look at my blog entries of only a year or so ago, I realise how lucky I am. I eat very well (with slight limitations), I drink well, I taste reasonably well, I speak well (and too much), I swallow well, I suffer from the lack of saliva but not as bad as many and I am generally a happy, heallthy and optimistic survivor. I am still obsessed with such morbid figures as survival rate charts and I smugly place myself in those minority positions on the lower right-hand side of these charts in the "post 2-year survival" positions and I am looking forward to being a proud member of the tiny lower right-hand side of these charts in the "post 5-year survival" positions... I'm counting on it so much you can write my name in the list already.

The eGroup is a very interesting experience for me. It is the first discussion forum which I have foudn which is so specifically related to my experiences. I have found various oral cancer sites, groups and forums. But never anything this specific. It is a bizarre "team" to be a member of. Nonetheless I feel that I am a vital part of this type of group and there is an important exchange in that I feel I have something to share with the group and I know that I enjoy reading from the others in the group. Although I now try to spend the vast majority of my day-to-day life forgetting cancer and trying to make that part of my life an unforgettable and painful "souvenir" or memory it is this type of group that reminds me that cancer will always be part of me and I will always be part of the cancer survivors.